Feb 11 2018
In our society today there us a whole generation of people thinking that it is not good to have negative emotions, that we should avoid pain and suffering no matter what and try to focus on the positive, on our desires, on our wishes, on becoming better.
It goes like this: We have to be positive at all times, and if not we will not make it to a happy successful life …because our belief system creates our behavior and our behavior creates outcomes and if those are not positive, what is the point anyway, right?
The tricky part with this positivity and happy go lucky epidemic is that we put so much pressure on ourselves to be positive all the time, that we don’t know how to deal with and process negative emotions, how to deal with failure, how to be more resilient, how to look at our shadow sides.
We start blaming ourselves for not being positive, we worry about being worried, we stress about being stressed. And we start thinking we are not good enough, that there is something inherently wrong with us.
And at the end of it we are unhappy and unfulfilled and try to fill the gap.
If I only had more financial stability, I would be more happy. If I looked like X, I would be fulfilled. If I was more like Y, I would definitely be more grounded…You get the point.
We also overcompensate with quick fix solutions and temporary HIGHS…we go have a drink, we eat a bucket of icecream, we buy way too many of those gorgeous tops and shoes and bags we don’t need to impress people we don’t actually like. Sounds familiar?
Well this is where we need to pause more than ever and ask ourselves what we really care about.
The Pursuit of Happiness is actually making us miserable, because it lets us focus on our lack, on what we don’t have.
Instead of running away from the challenges, numbing the pain and filling the wholes of “this is another thing a need to feel better about myself”, we shall ask ourselves: What are we willing to struggle for? What does our pain actually teach us?
It is not really new, but here a reminder: The challenges and struggle never really end. No one is immune from stress, difficulties and challenging experiences. We are all faced with moments that bring suffering and pain to our lives and guess what is actually a GOOD THING. Because you will grow and learn (if you choose to) and may be even teach others how to overcome what you went through.
The question is how do YOU respond in these situations? What do you learn from challenge and adversity? What does success and happiness really mean and can you train yourself to be more resilient?
So today just a reminder to focus on 1. your values and 2. your struggles.
Most of what I have learned in my life doesn’t come from my successes, but rather my failures, my dull days, my pains. So I encourage you to at least have a closer look and give it a thought.
What are you willing to struggle for?
Feb 09 2017
We all want to feel fulfilled, happy and aligned with who we are.
The good thing is that from my experience we don’t need to CHANGE anything or anybody but ourselves, our vibration our level of expansion, our level of LOVE.
Things will only be different if you feel, think and act in ways that are in alignment with who you are and where you want to go.
It doesn’t matter where you move to, whom you are with, not even the work you do…it is about what happens inside of you and the way you choose to look at life.
A quote from Marianne Williamson that has helped me many times when I feel restless and frustrated:
“Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”
Spirit says, “Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.”
My mission in life is it to bring more fulfillment to others through awareness and connection. By learning about myself, expanding who I am, being loving and kind. At the end of the end, this is all that matters. Really.
Much love and many blessings.
Feb 01 2017
Your relationships only reflect what is inside of you
While relationships of every kind are the heart and soul of our lives, they can also present us with our greatest challenges.
Are there times you find your partner’s, mother’s, father’s, children’s, friend’s behavior or choices upsetting and frustrating?
If you said, “Yes,” would you consider the possibility that these times are reflecting opportunities for healing in your consciousness?
Big mindset change, right? It is not about THEM, it is all about YOU.
Stay with me for a moment.
Your relationship interactions may actually be triggering YOUR unresolved issues so you can be aware of them and heal them!
The real question is: How can your relationships help you grow on a personal, professional and spiritual level?
To me, there are 2 fundamental purposes of relationships
The purpose of sharing and loving, companionship and partnership. The obvious one!
The catalyzing of each other’s growth and potential through the process of mirroring our unresolved issues to each other. The more tricky one.
The benefit of intimate relationship is to have your very own live-in healer, costume-designed for you.
They provide a great opportunity to see clearer what need to be worked on.
Learning how we can use these challenges as opportunities for growth supports us in realizing true Love and deeper fulfillment within all of our relationships, including the one with ourselves.
In today’s society, we are very impatient within relationships, especially with our partners.
This isn’t working, so I will just change partners…
The problem is that whatever needed to be healed didn’t get a chance to do so, and we fall back into the same patterns and ask ourselves, why do I always attract the needy ones, the broke one’s the selfish ones, a certain businessman type, the wonder-women and so on…
You get the point? By the way sexual orientation doesn’t matter.
The funny part is that we actually get attracted to the people we need…
You might ask yourself:
Who in their right mind would decide to be with some who triggers all their unresolved issues?
Well, the ultimate wisdom of creation (who ever is the intelligence behind this) has an answer:
Let’s invent the phenomena of falling in love to bring those people together and let them figure it all out.
I am persuaded that our outer reality is just a reflection of what is happening inside of us.
So next time before getting upset about someone who triggers you, ask yourself the question:
What in me isn’t full healed yet? What in me needs more awareness? What is the bigger picture here?
And ultimately. How can I respond with Love and Compassion?
Life is only testing you, so you can respond differently.
Remember: “You are never in relationship with anyone except yourself. The experience of the relationship is only going on in one place—inside of you! It’s the same for the other person. Yes, there is interaction, but it’s only reflecting back what’s going on inside of you .Want a better relationship? Create a better relationship inside yourself!” Dr. Ron Hulnick
Much love and many blessings,
Check out our new website for InsideOut and join us for our upcoming Events and Circles!
Aug 12 2016
Everybody has those voices that make you feel like crap about yourself, sabotage you and telling you like you don’t belong. It’s that opinionated, critical, sabotaging voice in your head – the one who fills your mind with big fat lies like these:
“You’re not pretty, thin, smart, rich (fill in the blank) enough,”
“You don’t measure up… you are falling behind…”
“Don’t even try. You’ll fail!”
Someday thinking: “When you get there you will finally be happy, financially secure, loved, fill in the blank…”
“You are unlovable, damaged goods, beyond repair.”
“You’re never going to (fill in the blank) get married, get ahead, reach your goals, make enough money….
Negative, nasty, judgmental voices that love to get in your head.
No matter how much money you have, the color of your skin, which culture you are from, especially women have the tendency to beat themselves up for not being what they are supposed to be.
We so often consciously and unconsciously go into self-bullying and self-abuse mode, that we are too exhausted to really listen to our inner wisdom and see our true POWER!
After working with many women around the globe I have identified 3 reasons why especially women so often fall into the self-criticism trap.
1. False Ideals, Expectations & Comparison
What does it really mean today to be a “good women”?
Women have officially more freedom, more power, more flexibility…but the problem is our society’s mentality didn’t shift too support women in that way. What happens is that we were thought to listen to conventional wisdom and not to our inner wisdom.
And the conventional wisdom portrayed in the media, social networks is that:
You are never ENOUGH…
To be a “good women” we need to be: a Great mom, a CEO, look like a model, be sexy, always happy and smiling and throw parties while doing charity on the side…
Let’s be honest here: Those goals are not just unattainable and unsustainable, they are completely unrealistic!
2. FEAR based stories and limiting believes
We all have these stories that we carry around like a heavy backpack, full of limiting believes, fears and feelings of that prevent us from getting what we want in life.
I myself had a story for many years of not being good enough, of being unlikeable and so I didn’t take many risks in my life because what other people thought of me really mattered a lot …
During my career as a professional tennis player, my whole identity became about results, about achievement, about being the best, about proving to myself and all the people around me that I be successful, intelligent and happy.
Shame, guilt, disappointment, fear, and embarrassment are five super powerful emotions that take us out of our power.
And when we are in that space, most of our actions come from a Fear based emotion rather then from Love.
I would urge you to reflect what your story or baggage is? What are the beliefs that are holding you back from being truly yourself?
3. DOING not BEING
The third reason is that Feminine power is valued by how much we can DO.
So many women wake up with a long to DO list and by the end of the day that list just gotten even longer and you have the feeling you are running against time?
I know I did and today I am inviting you to shift this reality.
Because really It is not so much about what we DO but who we ARE doing it.
What is the meaning and purpose of your actions? How can you create an even better place on earth today and contribute to a better place for my family, community and the world?
Imagine what your life will be like when You STOP Being So Hard On Yourself and START Loving and Empowering Yourself NOW!
Anything is Possible When Your Inner Critic is silent and Your Inner Wisdom is In Charge!
This is about turning down the volume of the sabotaging voice and turn up the volume of your Inner wisdom and really connecting with yourself.
I know that you are making a difference. People’s lives are better because of your presence. What you have already done & who you have already become, has made a difference – for yourself, for what you care about, and who you care for….
Even if you feel like you aren’t making a difference or like things aren’t shifting as fast as you like.
Believe in yourself and just BE!
Many blessings and much love,
Aug 10 2016
InsideOut is my newest project that I have been working on for some time now and that I am more and more proud of!
This is why I am so excited to invite you to the very first InsideOut Life event even before the website is up, before the flyers are out, before we get back from vacation! 🙂
The topic of our first event is how to:
Find greater Fulfillment by Accessing your Feminine Strengths
This evening’s discussion (for maximum 50 women!) will be lead by renowned international speaker and Life coach Felice Dunas Ph.D. who will be flying in from Los Angeles, California for the occasion...She is my dear friend and an AMAZING facilitator.
Apr 22 2016Today a more personal note from me as I am in my last weeks or even days of my second pregnancy…
Wow. What a blessing.
Being in this beautiful state of creation mode makes you see and feel things completely differently.
You realize how much is actually NOT in your control, and how important it is align with your inner BEING instead of constantly DO, DO, DO.
I am the “best host” for this gorgeous baby inside of me, but the process of creation is led by something bigger than me…call it nature, call in God, call it the universe.
Yes, there was some action my husband and I had to take, but eventually it is not up to us to create this human being. All I have to “Do” now is to “BE”, to nurture myself and stay healthy & fit.
I find this a good metaphor for life in general. We sometimes want to MAKE things happen no matter what. We push, we control, we struggle for results…forgetting that our whole reason being here is to learn, evolve and enjoy life… The rest will take care of itself.
Apr 02 2016
I am so thrilled to have launched my first InsideOut Circle last Thursday with 10 amazing and beautiful ladies.
I am very grateful for all the authentic sharing, the exchanges and the energy…I couldn’t have wished for more! You are such a diverse and beautiful group from the Inside out:-).
More and more women are looking for a safe and confidential environment not only to network but also exchange on a deeper level and share their issues & challenges and professional endeavors, without having to put on a mask or “being strong”. The idea of the InsideOut Circles is to provide such a safe haven where mutual support & creative collaboration are the most natural thing!
Read below what the participants have to say:-)
Much Love and many blessings, Nina
Dear Nina and Ladies,
Nina, thank you for being such a lovely host and providing such an array of food for body and soul. You created the “space” for us to come together. I felt that regardless of the setting, what was impactful was the experience you provided – and I am sure you can replicate that anywhere, you home, your new project, a park. Thanks to your presence, generosity and guidance, you generated the gratitude and empathy we felt as a group. It was magic and powerful.
Ladies, a real honor to meet you all. Thank you for opening up – and rather than feel exposed and weakened by what I shared with you, thanks to your own willingness to be vulnerable, I had a sense of belonging to a clan/tribe that gave me inspiration, perspective and strength. Thank you!
Passing ships or new friends, whatever we may be, it is precious.
Best wishes, Adriana
Nina is so warm and nurturing, it seems at odds with her personal background in competitive sports and business. However these skills come together beautifully to give her the drive, perspective and optimism needed to guide the most diverse and demanding groups. I attended an extraordinary session with a mixed group of women I had never met. Thanks to Nina’s direction, our group found a level of camaraderie based on empathy and a connection I have rarely found within such a short amount of time. I see great potential for Inside Out Circles as a way to gaining a sense of community we very much need.
Thank you for organising such a beautiful evening with such special women. It was an inspiring (and intense) few hours! I enjoyed it immensely, and despite only having had 6 hours of sleep feel energised for the day. Nina you are gifted 🙂 Keep pursuing…All the best to all of you, and hope this will be continued.
Thank you Nina for such a memorable evening!
Your positive energy and compassion created a wonderful safe haven of authentic exchange.
Wishing you a serene next few months…the birth of your baby and your project!
How exciting and profound.
I loved meeting all of you wonderful women. I feel that we are all facets of each other. Not just those of us in the room, but all women everywhere.
For me, it was also a good reminder that there is always much more than we imagine going on beneath the surface of everyone we meet.
Important then, to always interact with others with kindness and compassion.
The evening inspired me to be more patient and understanding with everyone who crosses my path … even the men…. 😉
- My overall mission in life is to help people evolve into their highest expression so that they can live their BEST LIFE and positively impact the people they love most.
So I am thrilled to be launching a platform for 6-8 awesome professional women, who have big dreams for themselves, their companies and their legacy!
InsideOut Circles is for women who are doing their own thing successfully, but feel that they could benefit from a mix of accountability, sharing, and connecting with like-minded women who want to thrive at work and in life.
What exactly are InsideOut Circles?
- Facilitated groups of trusted peers dedicated to consciousness, authenticity, and staying true to themselves, all while leading, growing, or starting a business or creative endeavor
- Participants usually meet face to face on a regular basis in an atmosphere of confidentiality, respect and trust in order to exchange ideas and experiences on the issues that matter most to them.
Feb 08 2016
How to Focus and set clear Intentions and Goals in your Life and Business? The 4 Step “Focus-System”
Many clients I work with often have a hard time setting clear goals and intentions for their projects and following through.
So today I would like to draw your attention to the word “Focus”, because one of the challenges in today’s busy life is that there is a ton of information-overflow and there are so many things that are pulling our attention that we wonder:
“Should I be doing this? Should I be doing that? Should this other thing be taking my attention?”
And the only way to focus your attention is to focus on setting a very specific, tangible intention around your needs and desires and how you schedule yourself and how you prioritize your day, consistently.
- CLEAR INTENTIONS
I personally like to set 30 day Intentions.
I tend to like to have a short time period to do something and have something to sort of review and reflect on.
So what I want encourage you to do, is ask yourself following questions:
- What is my Intention for February?
- In my life, in my relationship in my business…whatever is the most important area for you in life at the moment?
Now you might ask yourself: “Well, what’s the point? When I don’t hit my “goal”, I’m just frustrated and physically depressed.
My answer is: It’s actually an unreasonable expectation to expect that every time you set an intention or goal you’ll hit it.
The purpose of the intention is not if you don’t hit it, you’re a bad person, you suck and you might as well give up.
- The purpose of the intention from within is the stretch it requires.
- The purpose of the intention is that it’s going to set you into motion and taking actions differently than you would have otherwise.
- The purpose is that you set the intention and it directs your action and your Focus.
You’ll be doing things differently than if you had not set an intention at all. That is the value.
There have been many goals and intentions that I have set, whether they are action or financial based, or both, that I didn’t hit.
But, I did things differently than I otherwise would have, and that was the point anyway.
- What are the simplest steps you can take to get to that goal?
- What are all the things that you can push out of your consciousness and out of your mind so you don’t need to deal with them?
- And what are the simple things you can deal with that will have an impact for your goal?
This is going to be a constant challenge in building your business and or managing your life, because you’re a creative, curious person, and you’re going to want learn and do everything.
And, I can assure you that over the course of your career, there’s time to learn and do a whole lot. But right now, you want to focus on these simplest steps to get to your goal.
- WILLINGNESS TO TRY NEW THINGS
The third component of this “Focus-System” that I’m sharing with you is the willingness to try new things. And what that means really, is you’re willingness to be uncomfortable.
If you’re doing something new, it is uncomfortable. Why is that?
Because your critter brain, your primal brain, the job of your primal brain is to make sure that nothing changes, and everything stays the same because it’s trying to ensure your survival.
So that’s why you experience discomfort, and fear, and worry, and overwhelm, confusion, and doubt.
And if you can just accept that as a fact, instead of ever expecting not to feel that way, eventually the discomfort will just be less and less and less.
Many people have this expectation that it should just feel good all the time. It’s just not going to. It’s not true.
So the third piece is getting comfortable with discomfort, and just accepting that it’s going to be uncomfortable until it isn’t.
- AUDITING & RESET ACTION STEPS
The fourth component of the “Focus-System” is auditing and reset.
So you tried different strategies, and what you always want do is go back and audit. You are looking back at what you tried, celebrating what went well, and then asking yourself:
- Where is the opportunity for improvement? Which piece of the formula needs to be shifted?
- What are the new action steps based on what I’ve learned to get me to that original intention?
I’d love to hear if these phases resonate with you and which one you feel you are currently in!? So please comment below!:-)
Jan 28 2016
Hey everyone! I hope you are having a great start into the New Year of 2016! It has been a very busy month for me of traveling, learning and growing. I have had incredible conversations, forum meetings, retreats and connected with some amazing teachers and mentors.
After witnessing so many on the path of self-discovery and transformation, I have noticed there are developmental phases to personal growth that I would like to share with you.
The first phase is Self-Awareness.
Look around and ask yourself and ask: what role am I playing in the creation of my conditions, of my life?
Being aware of one’s responsibility in the creation of ones circumstances is key.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
We begin to learn that the results in our life are not just random.
This is when new tools, teachers and experiences come into our life that help us wake up. We begin to start connecting the dots of our own life.
Positive usually attracts more positive. The energy you send out, returns to you. You listen closer to your intuition, to your inner voice and start noticing what you attract and how.
Plant your seeds: “Wouldn’t it be nice…? ” to be more patient, to move to a different country, to live a more simple lifestyle, to work less and love more?
Just sending out that energy with no attachment to outcome will create a different energetic vibration.
- Things always work our for me
- Things are always working out for me
- Things will come around
- The situation will work out
- This is happening for a reason. What is the gift of this situation?
can be helpful in the self-awareness process.
We also begin to understand that all of us on this human journey are here to learn, grow and remember who we really are. This is a time full of “ah-ha” moments – some which are exciting and some which are downright surprising.
- The second step is Integration
Once we are aware of our own responsibility in the creation of our circumstances, we can move into the stage Integration.
This is the longest phase because this is when we shift from knowing things to actually changing things. If you feel like you have a lot of information but things in your life are not shifting, welcome to the integration phase…there is some work for you to do.
When in comes to transformation awareness is not enough…you have to let go of your limiting beliefs and change your behaviors.
One of the most powerful ways to heal and break a pattern is when we are experiencing it.
This is a time when we drop our story and upgrade our programming. It is a time when we do the courageous emotional work to heal old issues so they no longer define us. It is a time when we take all the tools we have learned and actually use them, consistently!
Life will be constantly challenge you in this phase to see how you will respond differently and how you alter your perspective and move toward Self-acceptance.