InsideOut Circles by Nina Urman

Life

  • Embracing the Wholeness of Life

    I hope you have enjoyed the full moon lunar eclipse and the beautiful blood moon this month?
    What a gorgeous and rare natural phenomena…

    It is the perfect time for all us to re-evaluate where we are in life and what we need to let go off to move into a more awakened and authentic state of mind and heart.

    To shed the old skin just like a snake and show our true beauty from the inside out!

    I have been more silent that usual as I have been going myself through some major transitions of letting go and surrendering, being guided at all times to open my heart and feel the vibration of embracing it all….the good, the bad and the ugly.

    I realized that I never actually internalized the idea of wholeness in its essence.
    I used to go through life with a positive outlook all the time.
    Anything that happened to me was turned into positive, into the light and I was unable to fully receive the wisdom of some of the painful and uncomfortable experiences as they came around.
    Wherever there was a dark patch of negativity, violence, cruelty, jealousy I would sneak away, get away and not look back…my soul wasn’t ready to accept LIFE FULLY and ALL it had to offer.

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  • Why the Pursuit of Happiness is making us miserable and What are you willing to struggle for?

    In our society today there us a whole generation of people thinking that it is not good to have negative emotions, that we should avoid pain and suffering no matter what and try to focus on the positive, on our desires, on our wishes, on becoming better.

    It goes like this: We have to be positive at all times, and if not we will not make it to a happy successful life …because our belief system creates our behavior and our behavior creates outcomes and if those are not positive, what is the point anyway, right?

    The tricky part with this positivity and happy go lucky epidemic is that we put so much pressure on ourselves to be positive all the time, that we don’t know how to deal with and process negative emotions, how to deal with failure, how to be more resilient, how to look at our shadow sides.

    We start blaming ourselves for not being positive, we worry about being worried, we stress about being stressed. And we start thinking we are not good enough, that there is something inherently wrong with us.

    And at the end of it we are unhappy and unfulfilled and try to fill the gap.

    If I only had more financial stability, I would be more happy. If I looked like X, I would be fulfilled. If I was more like Y, I would definitely be more grounded…You get the point.

    We also overcompensate with quick fix solutions and temporary HIGHS…we go have a drink, we eat a bucket of icecream, we buy way too many of those gorgeous tops and shoes and bags we don’t need to impress people we don’t actually like. Sounds familiar?

    Well this is where we need to pause more than ever and ask ourselves what we really care about.

    The Pursuit of Happiness is actually making us miserable, because it lets us focus on our lack, on what we don’t have. 

    Instead of running away from the challenges, numbing the pain and filling the wholes of “this is another thing a need to feel better about myself”, we shall ask ourselves: What are we willing to struggle for? What does our pain actually teach us?

    It is not really new, but here a reminder: The challenges and struggle never really end. No one is immune from stress, difficulties and challenging experiences. We are all faced with moments that bring suffering and pain to our lives and guess what is actually a GOOD THING. Because you will grow and learn (if you choose to) and may be even teach others how to overcome what you went through.

    The question is how do YOU respond in these situations? What do you learn from challenge and adversity? What does success and happiness really mean and can you train yourself to be more resilient?

    So today just a reminder to focus on 1. your values and 2. your struggles.

    Most of what I have learned in my life doesn’t come from my successes, but rather my failures, my dull days, my pains. So I encourage you to at least have a closer look and give it a thought.

    What are you willing to struggle for?

  • The Only thing that needs to be changed is your vibration of LOVE

    We all want to feel fulfilled, happy and aligned with who we are.

    The good thing is that from my experience we don’t need to CHANGE anything or anybody but ourselves, our vibration our level of expansion, our level of LOVE.

    Things will only be different if you feel, think and act in ways that are in alignment with who you are and where you want to go.

    It doesn’t matter where you move to, whom you are with, not even the work you do…it is about what happens inside of you and the way you choose to look at life.

    A quote from Marianne Williamson that has helped me many times when I feel restless and frustrated:

    “Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”
    Spirit says, “Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.”

    My mission in life is it to bring more fulfillment to others through awareness and connection. By learning about myself, expanding who I am, being loving and kind. At the end of the end, this is all that matters. Really.

    Much love and many blessings.

    Nina

  • Heart and Soul-Centered Relationships

     Your relationships only reflect what is inside of you

    While relationships of every kind are the heart and soul of our lives, they can also present us with our greatest challenges.

    Are there times you find your partner’s, mother’s, father’s, children’s, friend’s behavior or choices upsetting and frustrating?

    If you said, “Yes,” would you consider the possibility that these times are reflecting opportunities for healing in your consciousness?

    Big mindset change, right? It is not about THEM, it is all about YOU.

    Stay with me for a moment.

    Your relationship interactions may actually be triggering YOUR unresolved issues so you can be aware of them and heal them!

    The real question is: How can your relationships help you grow on a personal, professional and spiritual level?

    To me, there are 2 fundamental purposes of relationships

    The purpose of sharing and loving, companionship and partnership. The obvious one!

    The catalyzing of each other’s growth and potential through the process of mirroring our unresolved issues to each other. The more tricky one.

    The benefit of intimate relationship is to have your very own live-in healer, costume-designed for you.

    They provide a great opportunity to see clearer what need to be worked on.

    Learning how we can use these challenges as opportunities for growth supports us in realizing true Love and deeper fulfillment within all of our relationships, including the one with ourselves.

    In today’s society, we are very impatient within relationships, especially with our partners.

    This isn’t working, so I will just change partners…

    The problem is that whatever needed to be healed didn’t get a chance to do so, and we fall back into the same patterns and ask ourselves, why do I always attract the needy ones, the broke one’s the selfish ones, a certain businessman type, the wonder-women and so on…

    You get the point? By the way sexual orientation doesn’t matter.

    The funny part is that we actually get attracted to the people we need…

    You might ask yourself:

    Who in their right mind would decide to be with some who triggers all their unresolved issues?

    Well, the ultimate wisdom of creation (who ever is the intelligence behind this) has an answer:

    Let’s invent the phenomena of falling in love to bring those people together and let them figure it all out.

    I am persuaded that our outer reality is just a reflection of what is happening inside of us.

    So next time before getting upset about someone who triggers you, ask yourself the question:

    What in me isn’t full healed yet? What in me needs more awareness? What is the bigger picture here?

    And ultimately. How can I respond with Love and Compassion?

    Life is only testing you, so you can respond differently.

    Remember: “You are never in relationship with anyone except yourself. The experience of the relationship is only going on in one place—inside of you! It’s the same for the other person. Yes, there is interaction, but it’s only reflecting back what’s going on inside of you .Want a better relationship? Create a better relationship inside yourself!” Dr. Ron Hulnick

    Much love and many blessings,

    Nina

    Check out our new website for InsideOut and join us for our upcoming Events and Circles!

    https://www.insideout-circles.com/

  • The miracle of Co-creation

    Today a more personal note from me as I am in my last weeks or even days of my second pregnancy…

    Wow. What a blessing.

    Being in this beautiful state of creation mode makes you see and feel things completely differently.

    You realize how much is actually NOT in your control, and how important it is align with your inner BEING instead of constantly DO, DO, DO.

    I am the “best host” for this gorgeous baby inside of me, but the process of creation is led by something bigger than me…call it nature, call in God, call it the universe.

    Yes, there was some action my husband and I had to take, but eventually it is not up to us to create this human being. All I have to “Do” now is to “BE”, to nurture myself and stay healthy & fit.

    I find this a good metaphor for life in general. We sometimes want to MAKE things happen no matter what. We push, we control, we struggle for results…forgetting that our whole reason being here is to learn, evolve and enjoy life… The rest will take care of itself.

    Continue reading

  • How to Focus and set clear Intentions and Goals in your Life and Business? The 4 Step “Focus-System”

    Many clients I work with often have a hard time setting clear goals and intentions for their projects and following through.

    So today I would like to draw your attention to the word “Focus”, because one of the challenges in today’s busy life is that there is a ton of information-overflow and there are so many things that are pulling our attention that we wonder:

    “Should I be doing this? Should I be doing that? Should this other thing be taking my attention?”

    And the only way to focus your attention is to focus on setting a very specific, tangible intention around your needs and desires and how you schedule yourself and how you prioritize your day, consistently.

    1. CLEAR INTENTIONS

    I personally like to set 30 day Intentions.

    I tend to like to have a short time period to do something and have something to sort of review and reflect on.

    So what I want encourage you to do, is ask yourself following questions:

    • What is my Intention for February?
    • In my life, in my relationship in my business…whatever is the most important area for you in life at the moment?

    Now you might ask yourself: “Well, what’s the point? When I don’t hit my “goal”, I’m just frustrated and physically depressed.

    My answer is: It’s actually an unreasonable expectation to expect that every time you set an intention or goal you’ll hit it.

    The purpose of the intention is not if you don’t hit it, you’re a bad person, you suck and you might as well give up.

    • The purpose of the intention from within is the stretch it requires.
    • The purpose of the intention is that it’s going to set you into motion and taking actions differently than you would have otherwise.
    • The purpose is that you set the intention and it directs your action and your Focus.

    You’ll be doing things differently than if you had not set an intention at all. That is the value.

    There have been many goals and intentions that I have set, whether they are action or financial based, or both, that I didn’t hit.

    But, I did things differently than I otherwise would have, and that was the point anyway.

     

    1. SIMPLICITY
    • What are the simplest steps you can take to get to that goal?
    • What are all the things that you can push out of your consciousness and out of your mind so you don’t need to deal with them?
    • And what are the simple things you can deal with that will have an impact for your goal?

    This is going to be a constant challenge in building your business and or managing your life, because you’re a creative, curious person, and you’re going to want learn and do everything.

    And, I can assure you that over the course of your career, there’s time to learn and do a whole lot. But right now, you want to focus on these simplest steps to get to your goal.

     

    1. WILLINGNESS TO TRY NEW THINGS

    The third component of this “Focus-System” that I’m sharing with you is the willingness to try new things. And what that means really, is you’re willingness to be uncomfortable.

    If you’re doing something new, it is uncomfortable. Why is that?

    Because your critter brain, your primal brain, the job of your primal brain is to make sure that nothing changes, and everything stays the same because it’s trying to ensure your survival.

    So that’s why you experience discomfort, and fear, and worry, and overwhelm, confusion, and doubt.

    And if you can just accept that as a fact, instead of ever expecting not to feel that way, eventually the discomfort will just be less and less and less.

    Many people have this expectation that it should just feel good all the time. It’s just not going to. It’s not true.

    So the third piece is getting comfortable with discomfort, and just accepting that it’s going to be uncomfortable until it isn’t.

     

     

    1. AUDITING & RESET ACTION STEPS

    The fourth component of the “Focus-System” is auditing and reset.

    So you tried different strategies, and what you always want do is go back and audit. You are looking back at what you tried, celebrating what went well, and then asking yourself:

    • Where is the opportunity for improvement? Which piece of the formula needs to be shifted?
    • What are the new action steps based on what I’ve learned to get me to that original intention?

     

    I’d love to hear if these phases resonate with you and which one you feel you are currently in!? So please comment below!:-)

    Much love,

    Nina

  • How to accept where you are and move forward?

    Hey everyone! I hope you are having a great start into the New Year of 2016! It has been a very busy month for me of traveling, learning and growing. I have had incredible conversations, forum meetings, retreats and connected with some amazing teachers and mentors.

    After witnessing so many on the path of self-discovery and transformation, I have noticed there are developmental phases to personal growth that I would like to share with you.

    The first phase is Self-Awareness. 

    Look around and ask yourself and ask: what role am I playing in the creation of my conditions, of my life?

    Being aware of one’s responsibility in the creation of ones circumstances is key.

    When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

    We begin to learn that the results in our life are not just random.

    This is when new tools, teachers and experiences come into our life that help us wake up. We begin to start connecting the dots of our own life.

    Positive usually attracts more positive. The energy you send out, returns to you. You listen closer to your intuition, to your inner voice and start noticing what you attract and how.

    Plant your seeds: “Wouldn’t it be nice…? ” to be more patient, to move to a different country, to live a more simple lifestyle, to work less and love more?

    Just sending out that energy with no attachment to outcome will create a different energetic vibration.

    Mantras like:

    • Things always work our for me
    • Things are always working out for me
    • Things will come around
    • The situation will work out
    • This is happening for a reason. What is the gift of this situation?

    can be helpful in the self-awareness process.

    We also begin to understand that all of us on this human journey are here to learn, grow and remember who we really are. This is a time full of “ah-ha” moments – some which are exciting and some which are downright surprising.

     

    1. The second step is Integration

    Once we are aware of our own responsibility in the creation of our circumstances, we can move into the stage Integration.

    This is the longest phase because this is when we shift from knowing things to actually changing things. If you feel like you have a lot of information but things in your life are not shifting, welcome to the integration phase…there is some work for you to do.

    When in comes to transformation awareness is not enough…you have to let go of your limiting beliefs and change your behaviors.

    One of the most powerful ways to heal and break a pattern is when we are experiencing it.

    This is a time when we drop our story and upgrade our programming. It is a time when we do the courageous emotional work to heal old issues so they no longer define us. It is a time when we take all the tools we have learned and actually use them, consistently!

    Life will be constantly challenge you in this phase to see how you will respond differently and how you alter your perspective and move toward Self-acceptance.

  • Self-Acceptance and Self-Love

    3. Self-Acceptance and Self-Love

    Acceptance basically means that we understand that we are all things:  “the good, the bad and the ugly”.

    Unless you can give voice to the things that don’t work out…you cannot change them.

    Understanding and valuing the parts that we have previously seen as insufficient, worthless, worrisome can turn into assets and bring a positive effect into our life.

    So it is about accepting who we are and consciously creating boundaries and balance from within.

    The Illusion has been broken: You are truly amazing, beautiful and complete. The is nothing wrong about you. You are exactly who you need to be and where you need to be. It is all a learning process. We are all students of life.

    In this phase, you are not a new person, in fact, you are more authentically yourself than ever before because limiting beliefs and old stories have been dropped.

    Does this mean we are totally evolved and never have anything to work on? NO! We are still human, yet we have integrated so many tools and shifted internally, so when that when “issues” happen, we move into acceptance.

    Understanding and living this fully doesn’t magically protect you from any ‘bad things’ happening to us. It is just that you accept the flow as is and nothing ‘bad’ really triggers you anymore.  Every challenge becomes an opportunity, every setback is a learning, every loss a message and a gift.

    If you knew everything ahead of time, where would be the fun in life, right?

    Our souls are in constant evolution, development.Think about it: If there was no contrast, how would you be able to see the light? Appreciate the positive, the amazing things life offers?

    We stop fighting with reality and either accept it or change it.  We spend more time in the present moment rather than hung up on the past or tripping out about the future.

    1. Service from the Inside Out

    In this phase we are not as focused on working on ourselves or changing our own lives. Instead, we are focused on a bigger vision and changing the lives of others. We feel called to share the love we feel. The truth is that we become light and love.

    This is something we know from the inside, it is something we feel.

  • Sabotage and Fear

    If we are the creators of our life, why don’t we always create it to be pleasurable, joyful, magical and fun?

    The very basic answer to this boils down to FEAR.

    Fear of not succeeding, or not being good enough, fear of not being loved.

    Fear of how others will react when we evolve into a healthier lifestyle into the next higher version of ourselves.

    Sometimes are so afraid of our own light, the possibilities that we can attract, that it is easier to stay in the ‘conditions’ and find all kind of excuses to NOT change from within.

    Instead we blame others, complain about external conditions and people.

    Sabotage can come from two directions: the behavior of your friends, co-workers, colleagues, and family, or your own inner rebellion.

    Others watching us venture into this healthier lifestyle may make comments, or they may rebel against us.

    You may notice that some people close to you feel threatened when you embark on this kind of journey and they will tempt us with activities we’re trying to move away from. We may even feel guilty that they feel threatened (it’s NOT your fault that they feel bad) and sabotage ourselves to be accepted.

    Self sabotage (self criticism, our INNER JUDGE can be very strong!) We judge and blame ourselves for not being ENOUGH

    Remember: This is an Inside Out Life. You have to change from within to change the outside. 

    What if we no longer could hide behind excuses for not becoming anything we want? For not allowing ourselves to really be who we truly are?

    So, how do you do that?

  • Striving for ‘The Unconditional Life’

    When we consider our existing conditions (physical, financial, mental, behavioral relationship-conditions) as ‘what is’ as fixed and not changeable, it is very hard to create and visualize the ‘what can be’ or potentially ‘what will be’. In fact it is impossible.

    What we attract are certain practiced energetic vibration, that than tend to reaffirm the reality we create.

    We expect certain things, situations and people to be a certain way, we put them in boxes, we label their “being” and expect certain outcomes and behaviors.

    She is so ’emotional’ we say or “I am just not a math person”. I will never succeed or have a better financial situation. I am never lucky.

    And when they do happen in reality, we say: “see, I told you, this is just another example.” What we don’t see is everything’s else that is happening at the same time while we focus on ‘what is’.

    When you don’t give a space for ‘conditions’ to evolve, change, alter they never will. Life tends to underline the conditioned reality. It says: well, if you think this way: here is more of it.

    What you put out there-you get back as a boomerang sooner or later.

    Your conditions, your relationships, your interactions become a mirror of who you are being.

    I have experienced this basic truth of own life many times and with many of my clients.

    The unconditional life perspective gives one the opportunity for flow and freedom and evolution, development and progress…basically for the creation of ‘what will be’.

    YOU and only YOU create your reality, your perspective on things and people. Remember that YOU always have the choice on how you view a situation, a person, a relationship.

    You might not have the control or a situation or a ‘condition’ but you surely have all the control and choice on how to look at it or WHO you are BEING during the process.

    So if life is made up anyways: why don’t we always create it to be pleasurable and joyful, magical and fun?

    The very basic answer to this boils down to FEAR.